


To Love and Live

by Dark_Tea



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Tea/pseuds/Dark_Tea
Summary: It is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.
Relationships: Dwight Fairfield/F.J.S.J. | The Legion, Michael Myers/Jake Park
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	1. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, I hope you're excited!! uwu

Jake had no idea why he hadn't even been injured yet. Usually Michael was ruthless, and ruthless he had been with Dwight, Bill, and Steve, but as Jake stood, Michael would not attack him. Jake knew the hatch was somewhere, but he hadn't seen it, so he was stuck in this staredown. 

Michael slowly approached Jake, and Jake knew he was dead there. He closed his eyes and waited for some pain to come. He felt himself being hoisted over Michael's shoulder and expected to be tossed up onto a cold meat hook, but the pain never came.

Jake gasped and he suddenly was dropped and hit the ground with a thud. The drop nearly took the wind out of him, but he managed to recover as he heard a familiar sound.

The hatch. Dwight often described it at an almost heaven-like sound. Jake had to agree at that moment as he climbed to his feet.

Jake looked at Michael and the hatch, barely believing he was there, "Are you trying to let me go?"

Michael didn't move an inch, his gaze only resting on Jake. Though, his knife was at his side, showing he was in fact, not going to kill Jake.

Many thoughts ran through Jake's mind, and he tried to push them aside. He was being given a free getaway and he was questioning it?

"Uh... Thanks..."

As he quickly climbed down into the hatch and down its rusted ladder, he saw Michael's head one last time before he disappeared to the campfire.


	2. Two

Jake heard very few stories of killers letting survivors go. Most were bloodthirsty enough to even pretend to let survivors get the hatch. Jake tried to convince himself this is what Michael was doing then. Maybe he was just slow and missed the chance to grab Jake while he had the chance. 

Jake felt a pit in his stomach, and he knew Michael wasn't coming from a place of malice. He wanted to believe that Michael was coming from a place of evil, but everything he did, and every action he made had little evil intent. He hadn't even raised his knife toward Jake. Jake had tested it a couple times since their encounter. No mater what Jake did, Michael was rarely violent. Jake could sabotage as many hooks as he could carry and Michael would barely bat an eyelash (Not that Jake could see Michael's eyelashes). Jake had just openly run around the map and startled crows every few seconds. Yet, Michael refused to hurt the raven-headed man.

Jake sat on a log and stared into the wispy fire. He must've looked upset, because Dwight touched his arm and grabbed his attention, "Jake, are you alright?"

Jake shook his head, knowing better than to freak out Dwight, "Yeah, I'm alright, Dwight. Don't worry about it."

Dwight wasn't so sure, but respected his privacy.

Jake knew a trial was bound to start soon. He had earlier seen Huntress, Bubba, and Spirit. Nea said she saw Michael, and Jake prayed he wouldn't see Michael in his next trial. It was bound to be the last trial of the day, and Jake had a nervous pit in his stomach. Though, he did want an answer to his question. Was Michael just messing with him? Was Michael playing some sick game? He needed an answer, and he'd do what he needed to get it.

Jake felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw Michael's mask through the field. Jake knew he had to get answers, but he didn't know how to get Michael's attention. Jake slowly followed Michael until they were alone. Michael walked toward the nearest generator, but Jake spoke before he could, "Wait."

Michael froze, and Jake didn't expect it. Michael slowly turned around to face him and Jake felt as though he was frozen to the spot. His legs refused to move and his breath hitched, but he spoke again, "Why are you doing this? What do you want from me? If you're not going to hurt me, what do you want?" 

Michael didn't move for a moment, but he slowly walked towards Jake. Jake tensed and closed his eyes, expecting to feel a sharp blade, but nearly jumped when two strong arms wrapped around him. Jake didn't know what to do; his whole mind screamed he should run; this isn't okay. Jake's heart pounded and he tried to control his breath. He felt Michael gently run a hand through his short hair and Jake quickly yanked back. He was confused and scared.

Michael did not persist and let the man go. Jake nearly stumbled back as he watched Michael stalk off. Jake let himself fall to the ground, and he put a hand on his knee, the other over his chest. That was the closest he'd every gotten to a killer other than to get stabbed or killed.

Jake's legs shook and he tried to stand. For some reason, their encounter was worse than their usual ones. Being stabbed and killed felt more honest. His stomach turned as the idea of he and a killer getting close in such a way. He felt as though he'd been exposed to the Plague's sickness.

Jake slowly stood to his feet. He pushed his thoughts away and tried to focus on the objective. The more he worked, the faster he would get he and his friends out of there.

Jake found himself working on generators as fast as he could work. He wanted to get on the Killer's nerves. He wanted Michael to forget about whatever disgusting intent he had and just treat Jake the same as the others. He managed to get three of the five gens done, and worked right in front of Michael's face. He would watch Michael look for other survivors while he walked past Jake the whole time. Jake knew Michael saw him, but Michael refused to stop him.

Jake grew fed up and decided to take matters into his own hands. Every trial he had with Michael, he would jump in front of Michael's blade. It was something David taught him how to do.

Michael was forced to either hit Jake or miss his swing entirely. For a while, he just stopped his hand as he saw Jake in his view, but at some point, he didn't notice Jake until too late.

Jake didn't make a sound as the blade ran down his back and tore through his shirt. This caused Michael to stop entirely.

The current match wasn't proceeding well. In fact, Jake knew there was only two generators left to power, and Michael would lose.

Jake gasped and Michael grasped his throat and pushed him against a T wall. Jake cried out softly when his wound was shoved against the hard wall.

Jake almost felt relieved when Michael pushed the blade into his stomach. It was hopefully a sign that Michael would treat him equally.

He felt his mind tear away from his body as he was slowly pulled back to the campfire.


	3. Three

Jake felt things were returning back to normal. Michael had finally started killing him in trials. It took a little annoyance, but Jake could get the man to hook him and kill him. Jake hoped it would stay that way.

Jake was curled in a sleeping bag, thinking about how satisfied he was with warding off the killer, but intrusive thoughts began to pop up in the man's head. Jake hadn't been _held_ in a long time. In fact, his mother hadn't held him or hugged him in years. The fact was, Michael's touch made Jake almost giddy. Being held, being touched was a form of bliss he hadn't felt in a long time. Jake wasn't touchy, so he had barely shook the hands of the other survivors. Michael was the first person to get that close to him.

Jake wanted to relish in the touch. But, he tried to push away those intrusive thoughts. The idea of he and a killer having something made his entire body crawl. It was an icky feeling, like touching a spider. But there was something so enticing about it. It was something so fascinating and daring that it made his stomach turn in anticipation. Something in his mind _wanted_ Michael to pursue him. He wanted to watch it unfold. Jake wanted to see where it would go, if it would go anywhere.

Jake had mixed feelings, but he ultimately knew it was wrong. No matter his _other_ feelings about it. Michael was a killer, and would never stop. It was wrong to find such bliss as he was in the actions of a killer.

Jake was holed up in his sleeping bag. Just imagining being held again made his whole body tingle with excitement. Michael was almost twice the size he was. He could be enveloped by a warm embrace almost completely. Having a hand run through his hair, and feeling someone else's hand's on his chest would fully make Jake happy. The more his mind thought about it, the more he was enticed. He curled into his sleeping bag and felt himself drifting away at his thoughts.

Jake woke up the next day appalled at what he was thinking the night before. The idea or being around Michael made him less sick than usual, and he hated that he'd become more comfortable with the idea. It was his mind battling itself, and when night came, and Jake was on the edge of sleep, he allowed absurd thoughts to come to light. He knew those thoughts were real, and only hid in the darkest parts of his mind. He could succumb to them at any time, but the common sense in his head held sturdy. It was wrong.

Jake rubbed his arms and prepared for the first trial of the day. He hoped it was something easy to counter. Though, when Jake felt the coldness of Mount Ormond Resort, he knew it would be a difficult trial. Jake never wore anything much warmer than his jacket and scarf. He was glad he had them, but by the time he was done with a generator his whole body shook. His nose was bright red, he was sure of it. He sniffed every few seconds and rubbed his arms. It happened almost every time he saw the familiar snow. 

Jake didn't like winter. In fact, even when he was home, he always bundled up tightly for winter. His body just wasn't used to the cold. As the generator sparked to life, Jake heard snow crunching behind him. He turned around, expecting to see Nea or Dwight, but froze as he saw the familiar white mask that had taunted him for days. Jake felt blush powder his face as he thought of his own thoughts the night before.

Before either could say a word, Jake let out a sneeze and quickly ducked his head into his elbow. He shook his arm and pulled his jacket over his nose and spoke, "Just... Can you hook me? It's too cold here."

Making casual conversation with Michael was such a strange thing to Jake, but he knew that the killer could hear him. 

Michael approached him, knife raised and Jake let him. Though, as he got close, Michael let his arm drop to his side.

Jake shook his head and backed away slowly. He pointed his finger at Michael and exhaled slowly, "No. No, you're not doing this to me again." Jake's entire stomach did flips as Michael continued to approach him.

At some point, Michael managed to back Jake up into a corner. Jake held his arms out in front of him, hoping he would feel a knife scratch through his jacket, but none such feeling came. Jake gasped when Michael's arms gripped onto him tightly. He was hoisted into the man's arms and carried as though he was a child. Michael clutched him tightly to his chest and Jake tried to struggle.

Soon, Jake gave up struggling in Michael's grasp. The warmth calmed him, and he cursed himself for being so willing to give in to a Killer's grasp. Jake grasped Michael's arm one last time before promptly giving up. Michael didn't seem to mind as he brought Jake into the slightly warmer Resort space. At least the snow wasn't falling into the room. Though, it still stuck to the hair on Michael's mask and Jake's jacket.

Michael carried him up the stairs slowly and gently sat him down in one of the extra bedrooms in the resort. It was really strange to have beds in resort, but it wasn't an important enough thing for Jake to care. The loss of warmth made him shiver and cling onto his arms and rub his legs. Though, he wasn't too cold for long. Jake let out small gasp when Michael climbed into the bed with him. Jake backed himself against the wall, still trying to cling onto his common sense. Michael just pushed forward until there was nowhere left for Jake to go.

Jake tried to struggle, but it was no use. Even shoving and pushing Michael wasn't enough to ward off the man. Michael was much larger than he, and Jake found himself feeling very weak as Michael ignored his fighting and pulled Jake into his lap. Jake wanted to keep fighting, but couldn't find a point. The warmer he got in Michael's company, the less he wanted to move. At some point, Jake gave in. He decided to push any shame or pride away and just let his body decide what to do. Jake leaned into Michael's chest and watched the warm air leak from his mask in whispy fog. Jake didn't know what came over him, but he reached up and gently laid his hand on the mask, probably on Michael's cheek.

"Must be nice to have a mask to keep your face warm..." Jake let his hands drift and press against the mask. He tried to feel the shape of Michael's face, but dared not to try and remove the mask. Jake gently felt down Michael's chin and the man quickly gripped his hand.

Jake felt his heart rate pick up and he quickly spoke, "I wasn't doing anything. I wasn't going to take it off." Jake didn't move and Michael's grip on his hand loosened. Jake let his hand lower and he rested his head against Michael's chest once more.

"I do wonder what you look like. Guess that's normal, right?" Jake let his hand rest on Michael's chest and gently fiddled with the fabric of the man's overalls.

Jake tried to focus on anything other than what was actually going on, but he couldn't help but find his mind drifting there.

"Is this okay? Should we be doing this? It doesn't feel okay, but..."

Michael of course, didn't respond with words. Though, he gently brought his hand up and pushed Jake's hair from his face. Michael leaned closer, so close that Jake could feel his warm breath on his face. Jake's face warmed as a blush appeared and he wondered how he'd gotten into such a situation even though he encountered it on his own.

Their moment was interrupted by the sounds of the exit gate screeching to life. Jake's face paled and he quickly pushed himself from Michael's lap and turned to face the man.

Jake rubbed his neck and sighed, "They all probably left... C'mon, throw me on a hook so the entity doesn't rip you apart."

Michael slowly stood and approached Jake. Jake rubbed his arms at the cold and tried to remain composed. Michael and Jake were not surprised to notice no survivors around. They must've left. Jake stopped at a hook and turned to Michael, his nose already beginning to redden again, "C'mon. Toss me up there."

Michael didn't move and looked away.

Jake huffed in response, "Come on! Can you listen to me just this once? You've ignored everything I've ever asked of you. Could you just this once please listen to me?"

Michael gently placed hands on either side of Jake's arms to calm the man. Jake sighed and looked down, "We've gotten this far. I just want to leave and pretend everything is okay, Michael. This doesn't feel right and it's still happening. I shouldn't even be asking you to do this, but please just give me some sense of control over this situation, Michael. Can you give me that much?"

Michael slowly moved forward, after a moment of silence and lifted Jake over his shoulder and onto the rusted hook. Jake's iron will prevented him from screaming, but he winced. Jake struggled, not even really trying to get off the hook, just trying to bleed out faster. He stopped when he felt Michael's hand press against his chest. He was only slightly taller than the killer now. Michael leaned forward and let his head press against Jake's chest. Jake knew he only had a few moments before the entity claimed him, so he gently pushed Michael away. Barely seconds after Michael moved, the spider-like claw thrusted through Jake's chest, and pulled him away from the trial and back to the campfire.


	4. Four

Being pulled away from a trial is a strange thing to explain. Especially after a sacrifice. Jake had definitely died. It was a very obvious thing to him. Trials provided real deaths. When his soul or body is transported back to the campfire, he is not alive. Survivors are all dumped in a spot near the camp. It often took them a few minutes to get back up and retreat to their friends. Jake's few minutes felt like eternity. His physical wounds were healed by the entity, but the short time after trials was used to restart their bodies. Feeling his heart stop and reset was a painful feeling, but also emotionally painful. With whatever soul or mind he had left in such dying state, he often wished his heart would never begin to beat again. Every time it did, Jake felt the life drain from his very being. 

Each time, he felt some sort of dread or hatred, but this time, he felt some sort of sick relief. Because Jake got the chance to see Michael again. As he sat up and pulled himself from the ground, Jake slowly placed a hand over his chest and felt his heart beating back. It was the same thing Michael would've felt. Jake closed his eyes. His whole mind tried to tell him to try and end any relationship he had with Michael, but his body, his heart, his entire being ached to be held and appreciated like Michael did for him. The world he lived in was hell enough, why suffer more than necessary? As more and more time passed where he sat, Jake stopped caring about the morals and started to care more about how his relationship made him feel. It was a rush in his chest and a tingle all over his body. It was like a fire burned within him when he was around Michael. It was unmistakably exhilarating. The whole thing was exciting and scary. The thought of being close to someone so dangerous was so enticing. At any moment, he could be killed, but something always told him otherwise. Jake trusted the killer already. He trusted Michael with his life enough to let the man kill him.

Jake sighed and let his hand drop to his side. He slowly pulled himself up and approached the campfire.

"Jake? You were in that trial? I didn't see you at all." Nea spoke from across the fire.

Jake nodded and rubbed his arms, "Uh, yeah. I didn't see the killer at all. But I found the hatch and left."

Dwight shook his head, "I didn't see anyone either. Maybe there wasn't a killer."

Jake shrugged, "It was a free win, who cares?"

Nea eyed him, but didn't speak. No one could be upset about having a match without a killer. It was a relief that was well deserved.

Jake stood and walked away from the fire. He sat against the nearest tree and sighed. He heard someone approach and peeked an eye open. He glanced to see Dwight approach and sit across from him. The man looked nervous, but that wasn't new.

Jake didn't make a move to speak and close his eyes once more, so Dwight was the first to say anything, "I saw Michael carry you off."

Jake's entire body tense up and he opened his eyes. However, Dwight didn't look angry or upset. He looked simply nervous.

"I thought he was going to hook you, so I followed... But... It was weird how he was carrying you. I saw you struggle, but... It didn't feel right. Jake. I didn't stay long, just to make sure you were safe... I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I don't think it's my business... Just, please let me know that you're safe."

Jake felt his eyes water and he nodded, "Yeah... Yeah, Dwight, I think I'm safe."

Dwight nodded, "Okay... I trust you, Jake."

Jake sighed and rubbed his arms, "Why aren't you mad?"

Dwight shook his head, "I don't see a reason to be. This place is hell, and if you're finding comfort in things meant to hurt us, good for you. It's like a silent 'fuck you' to this whole place."

Jake sighed, "I don't even know what's going on with him. I mean... Didn't you notice how he'd never hit me? Half the time I body blocked for you just to get him to hit me. For a while he just decided he didn't want to injure me. Then I would escape every game. It just started happening after he dropped me at the hatch. He just let me go. He did have to, and before then, he wasn't nice, but he let me go. It took me days to get him to hook me. When he finally did, I thought he was done singling me out, but... When we went to Ormond... I'm not good with cold, and really wanted to just get out of the match... After I finished a generator, he was just there, behind me. I was too cold to care, I guess... I don't know, Dwight. It feels wrong, but I don't know if I can care anymore."

Dwight nodded and rubbed his arms. He looked away before he quickly spoke, "I think the legion likes me."

Jake raised an eyebrow at the statement, "The legion? Like, which one?"

Dwight shook his head, " _All_ off them. I... Recently they've all been avoiding me... But... Something was off last time I was in a match with them. All of them are acting so weird around me... They never down me anymore, even when I'm right in front of them... I don't know, maybe I'm being weird... Maybe they're not weird at all."

Jake rubbed his eyes and sighed, "I don't know... Something is really off, and I don't know what. Do you know anyone else with killer problems?"

Dwight shook his head, "No... I really needed someone to talk about it about, though... If you need to... I'm here."

Jake nodded and rubbed his head, thinking backs t what Dwight said about the Legion, "I... I hadn't really thought about Michael _liking_ me... Romantically? I... Is that what it is?"

Dwight's eyes widened and shook his head, "I... I mean it could be anything! That was just what I thought it was...," Dwight paused, "H–Have you tried asking?"

Jake looked at Dwight and rubbed his arms, "N–No... I hadn't thought about it, but... I think he does. I mean... What just happened at Ormond... I'm not sure he meant that in a friendly way. Not that there's an easy way to see that in a friendly way."

Dwight swallowed, "W–Well. How do you feel about it? I mean, if Michael liked you romantically."

The wind blew Jake's hair into his face and he gently brushed it away, "Like you said... Maybe it can be a good thing. I just don't know how to feel."

Dwight nodded and looked across the dark forest, "Me too. I think the Legion are the most human killer, but... I mean, anything romantically happening between me or any of them... I don't know. It could be a good thing, or a very very bad thing."

Jake sighed and straightened his back, "Fuck it. Fuck it, Dwight. I'm gonna try it, okay? I'll see where Michael wants it to go. Maybe I'll like it."

Dwight put his knees up and rested his arms on them, "M–Maybe I will too."

Jake couldn't reply because of the fog that curled around his ankles. He sighed and slowly stood up before he was pulled away from the campfire and into a trial.

Dwight rubbed his head and sighed. He was glad he wasn't alone in that weird world, and hoped Jake found some sort of peace, even if it was found in Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sososo, I'm actually writing another fic about Dwight and the legion, so if that interested you, keep an eye out 👀


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